Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
