the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
