let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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