girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
how drunk are you?
Several
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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