A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
