Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
