i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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