pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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