wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize