Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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