We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
