I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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