It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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