; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
