This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
