his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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