I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sext me about skeletons
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize