STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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