You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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