Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
