she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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