great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
