we have officially lost it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
