I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
