who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
