i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
