i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
