yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
home. puking in laundry basket.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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