One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
