Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
