If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
