smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
