Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
