Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
