i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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