At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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