i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
