I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
