The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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