Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
