The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
