the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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