I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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