DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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