I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
