i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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