He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
