I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
