this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
