He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
