She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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