Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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