honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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