STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
