Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
