Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
