He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
