Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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