Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
