I hate your face
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Randomize
