remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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