There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize