You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize