Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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