well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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