Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
