shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
